You were beautiful and now, you are beautiful.

The feeling of doubting yourself because of who you are. Why do you think that you are not as wonderful as you once were?

Life is unpredictable, filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, paths that we cannot always make sense of. You give the world permission to break you down until you feel as if you do not have the courage to rise again.  I wish I could make sense of the loss we feel and the loneliness so deep in our chests it feels as if it is a part of us. You are too plain to ever stand out. You are too reserved to find a place in this world. You are too deep and complicated that people have a hard time to understand you and accept who you are.

But what is beautiful about our existence is that our circumstances will always shift. We won't always be down in the dumps, longing for something, anything to make us feel happy again. We won’t always struggle with our heartbreak, or wake up every single morning, reminded of what we lost.

Pain brings healing in time. You don’t have to let your brokenness keep you weak and fragile forever.

Because the truth is, you will never be defined by your broken self. And even in your lowest, you are beautiful and strong. Even on the days where you make mistakes you think that you are not worth to fight for it. Even when you stare at your tired face in the mirror, you are beautiful. We won't always see ourselves as less. 

Here is the thing, everything that we go through teaches us who we are. We have to remember who we are and what we have become. We have to have faith and believe that better days are coming. A soul that is masked with pain is a beautiful soul. A soul that, no matter how broken or tired, the soul is still beautiful.

You let your insecurities drag you so far into the depths of hell that you fail to realize that who you are from the inside out is what makes you who you are. Nobody is like you, and that is beautiful. The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. You have to believe that you are beautiful, despite what you have been told, despite what you have gone through. You have to be kind to yourself and love the person that you are.

You are a flower that blooms even in winter.

You are wonderful. You are beautiful. But most importantly, you are who you are. And I hope you always remember that.

Hello and warm greetings to whoever be reading this. Guess who is back after two months break silencing away from the blogging stuffs? Well yes that is me. I do took a long break time from here but that will be it, welcome back to myself. Recently, there is this thought about revamping my blog but I feel like this look and concept have always feel like home. I have always enjoyed blogging, but you know life sometimes got in the way.

True that, I have been a bit quiet here for a while but it does not mean that nothing was happening behind the scenes. Lots of thing happened while I took a break from writing some stuffs. There is this thing that I meet new people, and sharing a lot of quality time with my family. You know, sometimes you just need to step back a little, change your perspective, take your time, reflect on what is going on and make future your plans and stuffs.

Lots of things happened these days. Alhamdullilah I have been blessed with good things and I am thankful for that as I can keep the pace for this semester. And to add on top of that, my internship placement has been approved by my desired law firm and guess what, the firm just take about 10 minutes from home and a tad exciting that I will be starting internship in the upcoming July this year. Few days ago, my younger brother finished off his diploma studies with first class honors and I am proud of him. He always been the brain of the family, and I acknowledge that. I am a proud big sister, if you ever read this congratulations bub you deserved it.

Nevertheless, all these good things happened recently made me feel motivated, empowered, enthusiastic, and blessed. Alhamdullilah. I know that a lot of things will shift from now on and it is my responsibility to make things happen and I will make them happen. Two of my dreams came true in the span of the same time, and I am working to strive for more.

May this positive energy will stay for a long time and I do need it. New semester has just started and things will get as busy as ever in a few weeks. I really hope that this semester season will give myself some space and possibility to reflect, and make some important decisions and plans.

Well then, I told you about how these good things that happened to me recently. Be proud of you and yourself. May I see you again in my next post.

Have a good day people.



With love, Syafika

Hello, it has been a while. You might notice some changes here and I did changed my url blog as I think that the current one fits better and I feel more comfortable than the last url blog name. I also changed my blog's name. Well, it was a sudden thought that I should go by a different blog name now. I feel way better with the current change ups. It may be subtle as I did not have enough time to change the whole blog design into a new one (I have been searching the most suitable design that will fits my blog concept and still searching, haha) but this would be my blog look right now. I am going on full strike to use my first name instead of my real name as I have always been skeptical about using my real name as an online persona, as time passes I might get comfortable on my own pace. 

Nothing to write much here, I would consider this as an interlude. My finals is coming up in two weeks span of time and my preparation is halfway through that. Another few cups of coffee to get through the nights and notes that I need to revise on. Just the same mundane things over and over every semester but lets get this bread. My study pace is somewhat different now that how it used to be, oh well I used to study around five hours everyday but at present, three hours would be enough for me. I tend to sleep early and wake up around the early morning hours to just revise something quick and continue to sleep back again after an hour. And I feel way better than my usual routine, this should be the way at the moment. Lets see if I can keep the pace up until the end of finals. 

As you all know, we will be going into another new decade next year and it baffles me on how fast time flies. I will be turning a year older next year, adulting will be way harder than it is later but anything lets do this. Three semesters left only for me to juggle and hustle in law school but days are getting hectic. Everything will be alright.

Around this hour, there are too much thoughts that I need to vent out but this girl need to prioritize her study time. Third year of law school is already a tough ride, and I cannot have the expectations to think about my final year next year, too much about that. I wonder why did I ended up reading law and being in a law school, but I signed up for this and I need to cope with everything. Everything will be alright in the end, I hope so. 

Just a short post coming through here, this might be a bluff but I will take a month break as I need to settle down everything after final exam ends later, I need to have a peace of mind and taking a break is all that I need. My current posts are already dull as it is but that's all there to it that mostly contain my rants about my hectic student life. 

Dear you, I hope that you are in good health. And I will be back with a stronger view of life with a peace of mind and heart. Guess I might see you on my next post around next year, very well.

With love, Syafika

Hello and good day to you. It has been a while, people. I have been too preoccupied with the university life and extra academic activities. My last post was around in September? Whew, need to fix on that. There's so much things happened to me in these few months, but I finally turns twenty-one years of age about a week ago. Reaching into adulthood life much, I had a decent dinner with my family as I went back home to celebrate my birthday with my loved ones. I felt content with everything now, my pace with studies gradually catching up to how it was before, as I feel the drawbacks are coming to me in all senses. 

November finally, there is a month left before next year? Time flies fast. Also, it is going to be a hell of a month with assignments submissions, presentations, formal events, and academic things. It is exhausting but I will get through with it. I really need to settle down with everything before I start prepping up for the upcoming finals next month. May I survive with all of this. Hectic but those are mundane things that I need to live by.

I will be participating in an advocacy competition that will held on next week but talking about preparations, I feel like I could not do any better to cope with it. I have been dealing with mini-stress breakdown, with the ongoing roller coaster of emotions that kinda affect me in some way. This is what I signed up for, and I need to cope with that. Huge burden and expectations to our team but I have faith on them, we will do well. We just need to fuel it around this eleventh hours and hustle.

I planned to make it short as I feel like I want to write some things that maybe could live up my posts that were left with no updates. There's a few drafts that I wish I could finish soon, but not now. I need more time to put a note on those, stay tuned. Take care of yourself and have a good day. 

With love, Syafika

Hello and greetings to all of you. To be honest, I kinda feel sorry to my blog that I have not been able to write as much as I want to these days. New semester coming up next week, and how I have been feeling? Nothing much lately, although that I am looking forward to learn new subjects and discover new things. Talking about blog, I want to change to a new look and I am currently searching for any designs that catered to my liking. It might take some time as I want to change it slowly and maximized it to a look that I am looking for. Fret not, I will not turn it into private-mode in case you would want to read my old posts. This look has been a constant look for a year and five months. Geez, I wonder why the urge for me to change it to a new look would be now, when I am busy preparing for the new semester but all in all, I will upgrade it regularly.

The semester break was good. I spent a lot of time watching my favorite netflix shows, korean dramas and variety shows and even binge-watching some anime that I have always wanted to watch back then. Life has been treating me good lately, I took an extra care for my skin (as it has been breaking out ever since my practicum ended) but all better now. I cluttered my wardrobe, sold some outfits as preloved items (it was a good experience and I earned few bucks) and donated half of it to my mom's friend as charity. It was good, truly good. Besides, my room was upgraded to a new look, I cleaned the whole house and cut off some unused items, recycled a few things and my house look way better than before, to note that I planted new plants at the backyard of my house. The Marie Kondo life really inspired me to be active around the house instead of being a devoted couch potato, at times. 

As now I am currently writing and drinking an apple juice right at the morning, I am watching my food intake as I want take care of my health better, I have been  frequently sick and honestly it is a let-down that I could not take of my health better, but I do not want to dwell on it. That's it, my so-called back to square one experiences. As much as my recently life updates. 

Since the new semester is beginning right now I just want to say to all students, all the best for your new semester and strive for the better. Not to forget to the new students, welcome to the degree life, savor your moments. Take care.

With love, Syafika