A shining solo, right there. Having to not attached to that someone who is dear to you usually can be pretty fun. You can do everything without having to ask someone first. The freedom is so addicting in a way that I do not mind staying like that for now. I still do not know what made me enjoy it when most people are afraid to be alone when in contrast I do enjoy it a lot. Bring out your independent single woman side, ladies.

I do value all the moments of pure bliss of being alone, I know that at some point it just does not feel like enough. Night after night of lying in bed alone, and falling asleep with my mind racing with no one to share my unsaid thoughts with, is enough to make my whole being feel kinda sorrow.

You are a beautiful soul. And just because it is taking longer for you, does not mean you would not find it. There is someone who looks at you and thinks you are like art. They think they have never seen someone as magnificent as you. They know how special you are and your worth.

I know that on the days that are the hardest, I am wishing I could come home to someone. At least in some point, someone that I could lean on and count on him. I want to share all those thoughts that are trapped in my head. Yet the truth is, nobody can promise that to you, so I do that so that I can promise myself. I can promise yourself that I are doing the best that I possibly can, I have made it this far on my own, and for that reason I will be alright.

Staying single for too long made it harder for people to convince me to love and trust someone, it might take some time. It is not that I do not want to, but because I am kinda afraid that after all the effort of keeping myself guarded up will only be put to waste after being attached to yet another wrong person. This is a different me, after all I have changed.

Because no matter what I do, I will never be enough for someone who looks for something else. So now, I wait for the day to come without forcing things to work out. I will wait until it happens naturally. Because I know for myself that when the timing and the person is right, it will come. Because I will be willing to trust myself just to be with that person no matter what may happen in the future.

If you are still out there, you still have a lot of time to hone yourself and enjoy the world independently, go and discover, take your time.

With love, Syafika