A warm greetings to you all. May you have a nice day and are in a good health. It has been pretty much a hectic week for me as the finals is just a couple weeks away. Club activities, assignments, tutorials questions, presentations and all those related to that, it feels like I could barely survive with lack of sleep and rest. I have nothing much to update here as I feel like I am abandoning my blog and this feels like a guilty pleasure. To be frank, I have been eating clean for a while and did some intense workouts to look better and feel good about myself, I am pretty much normal with my weight but you know, sometimes you have to get in shape. Aside from that, working out also makes me feel better.

At this sign of the times, my mind are running high on thoughts and here are the gist of it.

Barely surviving at this age?

You know, Being in your 20s at this age, no matter how and what, is just plain hard. It is an uphill battle that you have to fight on. It is a battle between what you really want to do with your life and what everyone around you wants. I am turning 20 soon and I feel like I have worried enough in my life to be at least 60 by now. I know that if you are reading this, you are struggling. You feel like you are not good enough to get that good things you want. I always feel like that, every single day. You feel like everyone else around you is killing it, while you still live with your pulp imaginations.

I always thought being a teenager would be the worst of it all. You are full of raging hormones and angst, and you whole-heartedly believe that the entire world is against you. But, here, your 20 come quicker than you think and you are hit by so much anxiety and worry that you do not know what to do with yourself.

People would think that graduating seems like a celebratory moment at the time, right? You survived four years of countless assignments, tests and sleepless nights and you have a degree to prove it. I remembering feeling proud of myself for a brief moment on a day, until I got bombarded with questions about about my future plans. I know you probably feel scared that you would not amount to anything. And you are feeling unworthy of any success you might have already gotten by now. And I know, it is easy to put yourself down. 

But, here is the tea.

You are not alone in your anxiety. You are not alone with what you are worrying about and with what keeps you up at night. Everyone is scared. Everyone has dark thoughts about their future and where they are headed. Everyone is just as petrified as you are. Everyone this age has to walk on several different paths and turns to get to the one they are meant to be on. And everyone you meet is fighting the same battle as you, just with different timing.Sometimes, I wonder if I am on the right path that I want in life, but little did I know that Allah had given me this opportunity to do the things that I love, learning something that I have always wanted to. I feel thankful for a reason.

And what you need to realize is, you do not need to always move in fast motion. You do not always need to run until you are out of breath. Work at your own pace. Live at your own pace and what is comfortable for you. Stop comparing everything to everyone else. Stop looking at other people’s lives instead of your own. Being in your twenties is sure hard. It is downright exhausting at times. But it is going to be so and so worth it.

Because one day, you will look back on this time in your life and smile because it all worked out. And one day, you will look back on this time in your life and know that you were moving in the right direction all along, whether you realized it or not. And I hope you will feel better. Have a good day, everyone.

With love, Syafika